Do you really think there's "THE ONE" for you? Do you believe in fate?

Hello all,

So my friends and I always have a deep conversation on whether we are born in this world and are partnered in fate in this world. Now, many people believe there's "THE ONE" for them but they settle for someone else that isn't their one because of convenience or other special circumstances.

I personally believe there is no "THE ONE" for me. I think its up to us to make them the one. However, I do believe in fate. When I say fate, I truly believe that whatever happens happens. If its us, its us in the end no matter what. Its quite contradictory when I say I don't believe in "THE ONE" but I do believe in the circumstance of fate.

So what do you believe? Do you believe there's "THE ONE" for you? Do you believe this is because of fate? Do you even believe in fate? Do you have an example that you married "THE ONE" for you? Are you currently with "THE ONE"?

 

That's fine, but can you specify what "the one" means to you?

I'm not sure that I understand what you're trying to say. You say that "whatever happens, happens"?

Well...obviously? If something happens, then it happens. I don't understand why you're injecting mystical terms like "fate" and "belief" into that.

 

If you're gonna wait for the absolute perfect one, then you'll end up disappointed.

 

So no one is married here thinking they are "THE ONE"?

 

Here's a poem I wrote with similar thoughts ...

I know that there's always
Something I'm missing
I'm hoping I'm hungry
Starving my vision
You are so lovely
My heartfelt submission
Too soon to resign
To a perfect rendition

I believe in fate. To me, it seems that the universe (including ourselves and our love stories) may unfold in only one fashion. As such, there is only one path for us to take. In this sense, it is not contradictory to believe in "the one" (path) and fate (specificity of the future based on the present/past. However, I believe that we can find true love with more than one person if it's fated to be. I also believe that with a certain person (the one for me) my love story will be written.

 

I don't believe in fate, I think everything is by chance. We're all just living and dying on a big ass rock.

 

No, nobody is perfect and thus concludes many different people can be suitable as a companion. You learn to love eachother, you learn to be with eachother. Learn is the keyword here because everything in life is a lesson.

 

Billions of people here, you'll eventually find one out of the bunch. Plenty of fish in the sea!

 

Actually, different from most people in this thread/the poll, I believe in fate. Or at the very least, fated encounters.

Take my boyfriend for example. We've been together since Nov 16. We met in a course that only 4 people signed up for to begin with the month prior, and he signed up literally last minute. He only recently moved to my area, specifically to the same exact area I moved to from Washington state 13 years ago.

If this isn't a fuck ton of coincidences that put these pieces into place, I don't know what is. There was such a slim fucking chance of us meeting to begin with...... and we somehow managed to.

I believe there are "destinies" for people too, but it's not the way people see things. I just believe things are meant to be the way they are, I believe there are certain outcomes for every person and that can change depending on the path you choose in life. Though you could say it's not destiny and just simply outcomes based upon how that person is in general, but still eh.

Guess it helps my belief in fate/d encounters because me and my boyfriend click perfectly and he's a beautiful person. Kind of different from me, but I somehow make him happy like nothing else. Such a weird case if you think about it, I've never made someone this happy that they've cried when I asked them out. That's the fate I believe in. I think this kind of stuff is meant to happen to certain people, and only certain people will.. click like this.

Just my take

 

I dont believe in "the one". I just know there is girls for everyone or boys doesnt matter. You learn to like someone.

 

Does that mean that you believe that even if you do not like that person or you're not physically attracted to that person that you will eventually like that person if you are under a circumstance that you will be forced to like that person?

 

I personally don't believe in "the one"

What I do know is that many marital partners people settle with aren't chosen because they're the perfect match, or as you so quote "the one"
but rather because of factors that are explained by psychology
1: Proximity - Even if there is the absolute perfect person halfway across the world, if you never know about them or if you don't get to see them often because of how separated you are, then you'll probably break up with them. This is also an important factor in choosing a relationship as well, as proven by Robert Zajonc's mere exposure effect, which shows that people grow an attachment to things or other people just because they're familiar with them. The best way to present this would be to imagine your high school crush (if you had one, I know this certainly isn't applicable to everyone here). Why did you like them? Was it because they were the perfect match you had envisioned in your mind? Maybe, but that's only because you weren't exposed to anybody better at the time.
2: Physical attractiveness - When people talk about getting together with someone because of their "personality," they're usually gonna be talking complete BS. There's a reason those people always talk about the "good personality" of those attractive people, but fail to recognize the personalities of anybody else. In addition, social psychologist Elaine Hatfield also developed the matching hypothesis which states that people are likely to get together with others that are similar in level of attractiveness.
3: Similarity - People tend to get together with people that have similar characteristics and values as them. This doesn't only apply to relationships though. Think about friends as well. There is a high chance you get along with people that have similar beliefs to you, but absolutely cannot stand others that don't. This is just the kind of mindset people have
4: Reciprocity - Self explanatory. It's a lot easier for you to fall in love with someone who you know loves you back
If you want to read any more about these, just google psychological factors influencing attraction

Going back to my main point though, I don't believe there is "the one," but rather multiple people who can fill that role. What you really need to get a relationship experience like that is just finding someone who can fulfill Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love (google it if you don't know what it is). Finding someone who you can share a love that incorporates intimacy, commitment, and passion with (once again google Triangular Theory of Love for more details) is all you need to have a fulfilling relationship.

 

I don't believe in fate, but I do believe that there's luck involved when you find someone that you really think you want to spend the rest of your life with. Some people get lucky, and some don't

 

I don’t believe there is one for you but I do believe in fate. And karma