What would you do if...?

What would you do if you had a mentally challenged child? Would you give the child up for adoption? Take care of the child?

My friend asked me this the other day and I am interested in what other people would do.

For myself, I would give it up for adoption, and if my wife/girlfriend I got pregnant wanted to keep the child, I would leave her and pay child support. The constant attention and care a mentally challenged child needs would be way to much of a burden on my life for me to raise the child. I know it sounds selfish but I do not want to have to take care of a child that can never really be a part of society and have a normal life, and will require my constant attention for their whole life.

 

inb4 "Lilly you're a fucking bitch".

I would keep and tend to it, you get extra money back during tax season.

I think separating from your significant other is a bit childish though.

 

Well for me i guess it really depends on the severity. Sometimes it just effects the social aspect of the child's life and their ability to make friends and relate with their peers, but other times it impairs them to the point where they do need your constant attention.

If it were the former, i could and would definitely keep the kid.

Sadly, if the latter, i would have to agree with you, OP. :/ I would love to be able to raise the kid, but I could never stand the constant stress it would cause me, in addition to the other general stresses in life.

 

I know it seems drastic but I would not have the patience or heart to raise the child, but if my significant other wants to raise the child she can, just not with me. I don't want to be in a situation where I can't live or enjoy my life because I have to spend all my money and time on a child who will never really give me anything back.

 

I couldn't tell ya until I have a child. at the moment, I wouldn't, the stress of it all would be a ton to handle man.

 

I would care for it, can't believe any of you would abandon your own child, whatever the circumstances.

 

I don't see anything wrong with it, the amount of stress it puts on the parents is enormous, you can tell just by looking at them. If I were try and have a baby with my future wife, and get all excited, and then find out the baby is mentally challenged, I would be incredibly disappointed and sad, and I can imagine this is how it would be for most parents when it happens. Then, due to all the care the child requires, I spend a lot of money, time, sacrificing pretty much all social life, just to care for a child who will never be able to take care for them self. That just does not sound like a good life.

 

pretty much this, but I think I'd be more inclined to keep the kid. I don't think I'd have it in me to give up a baby just because it's handicapped.

 

Abortion or adoption.

For example, a child with Down Syndrome...
You're gonna have to take care of it your whole life.

I don't want none of that.

 

But you brought that theoretical child into this world, you have an obligation to protect and raise him or her, for however long it takes.

I am sure when you get older you will realize that their is more people in this world than you, I respect your opinion on what you would do, but it just seems selfish.

My teacher has a child, well 19 year old actually, with mental retardation, and she works so hard for him. She is probably the sweetest lady you could ever meet, and she does everything for him. I have met him 3 times and he is so nice and courteous, even with his mental retardation. Just because they aren't as smart as everyone else does not make them less human, they have feelings too.

Anyways, after all that rambling I will get to the point where I state my opinion. I would keep the child and take care of him for as long as he needs it. I would be ashamed if I ever gave up on something I helped create, especially a child.

 

I use to work at the ARC (Association of Retarded Citizens). Out of the 3 years I worked there, I only had one client that had to have constant attention. All of the others I tended to kept to themselves, watched television or sat outside all day. They needed assistance with showers, meds, and of course grooming. Other than that they do as they wish.
Now what would I do if I had a child with an intellectual challenge? I would put him in the care of the ARC, of whatever city I live in, and would visit as much as I could to give him money for sodas, or whatever he wants. The way the ARC works is you, the parent, pay monthly to keep your child in a wonderful facility staffed by the most joyful individuals. The staff take care of your client daily, and send him to school year-round except weekends, and major christian holidays.

 

I think I would only keep it depending on how amazing my wife/girlfriend is at the time. If I thought with her we could be able to handle it I'd keep it. If not I would most likely put it up for adoption (even though I know it's wrong).

 

This sounds like prison.

I would want my child to have the best possible life, and not be institutionalized if at all possible. I wouldn't want to be 'locked up' while my parents or significant others visit me 'when they can' that is an incredibly selfish thing. I would want my child to experience the world in the best way possible and explore and live as normal as possible. I mean no offense but that sounds like you would be pawning the kid off, shirking the responsibility if you will.

 

I saw an ~80 year old woman walking with her obviously mentally challenged son the other day and knew she had been at it for a while. Heartwarming.

 

I really don't know and it would depend how severe his mental disability is. Even then, I really don't know what I'd do. I guess for me, time will tell.

 

This pretty much. I have a retarded cousin and her parents (my aunt and uncle) have a really rough time dealing with her. It's why they didn't have any kids. Honestly, it's just pointless to bring them into this world and hard on both you and the kid. You have to deal with and take care of them the rest of their lives, and they never get to fully experience life.

Just my 2 cents, don't flame me for it.

 

I agree with you 110%. A human is still a human no matter what disease they have (diabetes, cancer, mentally challenged and so on..). Back to OP, I would keep MY child and not "put it up" for adoption. Just because you have the decision to give your child away does not make it right by any means. Even considering putting your child in the "ARC" program would be a totally selfish move on the parents part.. In my eye's a mentally challenged kid/adult doesnt have to worry about anything like bills, rent, or drama and stress being the main 2 things. With that being said the parents would be the Ir-responsible ones by hiding from their problems. Sometimes life isnt always about thinking about yourself.

 

Depends completely on what I decide to do with my life and how much money I end up having.

I would abort an unborn with apparent life-debilitating disease.

 

Depends on my age, how well of I am.

Theres so many factors.

 

It really depends on what is going on in my life, but as of right now I would give it up for adoption. Simply because I am too young to provide for any kid, especially a mentally challenged one.