a routine i've never seriously tried to get into i've always been lazy


I've been nothing but a loser these last few years i never had any real goals
but i decided to go back to school, in three days i move away to a new town (i used to be a hood rat and i don't want that catching up to me) and i have to get away from a very mentally abusive family.

so as a loser, how do i move forward and stay there? i don't want to give up again.

i was a drug addict who hung around with criminals and turned into one myself, i haven't always been effeminate i just somehow became that way very recently when my life settled down a bit



My goal is to move to china to take a tefl course to teach english in a more stable economy and maybe get my mom to come with me so i can financially support her and get her away from an abusive relationship. The friends if i do make at any rate will be halfway round the world if i make my dream come true, besides in the end no one really likes me for who i am anyway...
and i refuse to conform to what other people want me to be anymore it's far too tiring...
All of this makes me feel like crying which i haven't known how to do in years...
People think i'm a freak or an asshole but i'm just midunderstood and dying inside, slowly unsure how to approach people or situations.
Keeping my collected "i don't care attitude lacking both personality and emotion" persona, It's getting harder and harder to control and keep my composure with each passing day as i forget who i am and start wondering why i exist in the first place i'm only 19 but i feel old and exhausted.

I don't know why i'm posting this on a random forum i guess i just needed to vent
...sorry i'll stop posting

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You can post all you want bro, your post are more than welcomed here
Sorry to hear about all the shit you've been through, but it's nice to see that you want to do something with your life.
Do you still take drugs or have you quit?

As for the routine, all you can do it keep doing it. Be in the right frame of mind and no you want to do it, move your alarm clock out of reach so you have to get of bed to turn it off. Have a shower and wake yourself up. Hell when I wake up I want to fall straight back to sleep, but I know I need to do something, so I force myself to get up.

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I had a similar challenge this year when I went back to school after years of substance abuse and addiction, and it was quite a large adjustment for me and the lifestyle I was living. So I know what you are going through.

The best thing you can do for yourself is make a routine and stick to it every single day. For example, I set 2 alarms for 7:00am every single morning, even if my classes don't start until the afternoon. It was extremely hard for a few weeks but after I forced myself out of bed time after time, it is now just second nature to get up at that time. It also helps me fall asleep earlier

So develop a routine for waking up on time, having a good healthy breakfast, setting aside time to study in the evenings, going for walks or getting regular exercise, etc. and after awhile it becomes automatic.

It really feels great to have some structure and regularity in your life after living a life of chaos, crime, and addiction. Trust me, I know. If I can do it, so can you. Just keep your head up and keep at it no matter what, and before you know it you will get there.

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i came here asking for advice not opinions
i've never lived a life of luxury why would i expect it now?
currently china is surpassing canada and america combined economically
within 5 years it will be the superpower (no debt, and they havent been borrowing money for 75 years like america)

i just want to get by
they'll pay me 3 grand to take a tefl course, and find me a job while giving me an apartment to sleep in free of charge during the 6-week course, of which i can offord after i start working, you seem to think china is a terrible place to live, keep drinking the kool aid - remember to never turn off the tel-lie-vision-programming
people in china live just as good as we do, at least in the major cities, i'm not sure what you meant by life of luxury, but you are right - like anywhere in the world i'd be lucky just to get by
i don't care if its strictly controlled it's my dream
who the fuck do you think you are to try and stomp on that?

HúndÃ*n (asshole)

american total debt - $57,207,587,000,000 but it goes up about 100,000 per 10-15 seconds (when the american currency defaults canada will default too, you talk down to me but i've researched this intensly) also japan is far too hard to get into - and stay there + they have their own debt to worry about, reliant on the us dollar

i'm the one with the skewed view? fuck you asshole
reported your answer;

Study for and take the SAT. Whether you need it or not it was what gave me that first satisfaction of performing well academically. The rest just sort of fell in place.

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what's an sat?

What country are you from?

SAT's are a test (after high school?) in America.
Here in England they are done after primary school to get into high school so I doubt he is talking about them.

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That's quite a story.

Dunno how you can say you've had no goals when you've pretty much written one up right here Don't mind that other douche who has nothing but negativity to say. Do what you think is right, live life to the fullest. << Best advice for ANYONE in any situation IMO.

Goodluck!

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Your economic research is all wrong.
America will not default. American GDP is growing faster than it's debt. (Debt is usually measured in Debt as a percentage of GDP). Therefore, it will not need to default - people will keep lending America money, and in the future America's GDP will be so much larger than it's debt that the 57 trillion will be an insignificant amount of money.